Managing ones own expectations of self can sometimes be the most challenging task. We often expect too much from self, and allow others to disappoint us with little to no repercussions.
Yet the punishment we place on ourselves in the face of failure or even a slight bump in the road has the potential to set us back a thousand and one steps, starting the cycle again,
What does that cycle look like? Well for each person it is slightly different, but the concepts are similar.
We start with a grand vision, a dream, a plan and we commit to it. Yet at the first sign of a bump in the road our motivation to continue is tested. It is more than our motivation which is tested, it is our sense of self, our faith in our own ability to not only achieve that dream but to deserve it.
What is it that makes us dance these steps over and over again. If we fail our own self imposed test of faith our motivation drops, if we continue in spite of it and achieve our goal, often we find holes or aspects to critique
We constantly look for fault because we grow to learn nobody is perfect, yet for self we take that notion literally and perhaps most harshly. But that mindset isn’t healthy, nor does it provide a solid foundation upon which to continue to grow.
But how do we change it? How do we acknowledge that our own expectations of self get in the way to achieving ever greater things than expected, or imagined. How do we allow our soul to guide us rather than the human box of expectations we find ourselves to carry every day. How do we allow our own inner compass to lead the way?
I always tend to giggle when I think of the answer, as it comes from Tinkerbelle – pixie dust and a bit of faith. Not so much faith that others will support you, but faith that you can achieve your path, you can work out what is needed, when and where. Faith that at the end of the day, you will co create the world you want to live in.
I like to think of pebbles in the sand as various thoughts. Each thought slightly different creating the various groves, the colours and textures representing aspects of that thought. I used to love collecting pebbles as a kid, shells and driftwood from the ocean and I remember going home with my big bucket and actively selecting that which I wanted and returning that I did not. I never held on to the ones that just didn’t sit right, that didn’t match my intent.
Now I like to do the same with my thoughts. At the end of each day I take a moment to go through my collection, disregarding that which does not support and nourish my soul, and keeping those that do. Yes it’s a process, but actively selecting my thoughts, and actively removing those which harm me, my self expectations that hinder me, releasing that which hurt me is a way to ensure my own journey remains true to my soul, not my human perceived world.
I mean we have all heard about it, chose your thoughts carefully, blah blah. And yes it’s true, but for me, to ensure I stay true to my journey, and maintain my sense of self, it has helped hugely to create a process which works for me. What do I do with the disregarded pebbles? I return them to the earth, for healing and peace, knowing that in time they will find their way back to me, in a way that aligns with my higher self, and sprinkling them with pixie dust as they go.
Because at the end of the day, faith is all you need, but a little bit of pixie dust never hurt either 😉