Every now and again, often through a series of events, we find ourselves almost at the starting point, unsure what direction we should take. This happened to me recently due to illness, where I was unable to maintain the current blog schedule.
Between a number of emotions around letting people down, maintaining continuity and sharing my thoughts, I found myself conflicted. Do I force myself to write, probably producing something which is half-hearted, or do I just have a break coming back when I was ready to consider what the Blog component of this website should look like.
Clearly, 3+ weeks of no posts indicates which way I went.
So here I am, considering the future of the blog, wondering what, if any, contributions I wanted to make, and in general what purpose the blog should serve. So welcome, in many respects to the fresh start of the Zoetic Dawn Blog.
The blog itself is important to me, and for myself, is a journey worth continuing. I will tell you however, that the concept of continuing can be incredibly overwhelming at times. My journey with Zoetic Dawn has been an interesting one to date. I have found myself surrounded by much aroha (love), meeting amazing people, experiencing amazing things, and getting to work with some amazing, strong, determined people. Yet, it has also been full of challenging conversations, confrontations with individuals, threats to my own sense of self, loss of relationships, and fair few wake-up calls in my ability/sensibility when it comes to trusting others.
I have felt the true weight of disappointment, where either myself or others behaved in ways which challenged my knowledge of them. I have been challenged to stand up for my own sense of self, and my own sense of worth, and challenge in their attempts to undermine, and under value the contribution that I bring to the table.
I have had assumptions made about me. Some positive, some negative.
I have made assumptions of others.
I have made assumptions of myself.
I have hidden behind my skills of putting forward a front, a front of keeping it together, of appearing to have everything under control.
And yet, in many ways, I have been exposed to new people, situations and lessons like never before.
So, over a year later, and starting to move into a new phase of Zoetic Dawn, I pause to question… what do I provide? What do I receive? How do I want to continue… do I want to continue?
For myself, when it comes to these sorts of questions, I cannot move forward without considering how I made my way to this point in my life now. I can only but draw upon the wisdom I have gained, and use that, with new eyes towards the future.
The question, would I change anything?
The truth is, as much as I would love to (on one level), say yes absolutely I would change things, I would remove those who harmed me, I would change my less than finer moments etc and so forth, the reality is that I wouldn’t. Because as cheesy as it sounds, it is those moments which truly have empowered me to find my voice, and too speak it.
It is those moments which made me realise that I am worth far more than simply organising a venue, completing mundane administration tasks, but that I offer true value both in my coaching worlds, and my other worlds.
It has always been an interesting predicament. I have always had this knack, for connecting with others, and creating and maintaining space for other people to their own sense of self, empowering them in their lives. Yet, historically, I would take a back seat, allowing others to shine and demonstrate their own skills before I would even say hello.
Those who know me, who have worked with me one on one however, have helped me to see the strength and the skill I do bring to the table beyond supporting others to share their stories.
So I needed to make the decision, that I would work to show my skills, to tell my story and to unapologetically and unashamedly say…
Hey, my name is Jaime, I am a Holistic Coach, and I am bloody awesome at what I do. What do I do? I create and hold space for you to discover the essence of who you are, to build holistic resilience, to define your truth and to define success on your terms. I create space for self love, self worth and self healing to blossom. I create the space where it is safe for you to explore who you are, light, shadow and all that is in between.
So, here I am, fresh start.