1st January 2019

Today is the 1st of January 2019. Today is the start of a new year. Today is the day where many of us “release” that which hurts us in 2018 because the passing of time at this point signifies a shift in our world.

Today is the day we feel like we get to start again? Right?

Well, today for me, is the day that nothing really feels any different. The grieving journey I was on yesterday is still here, the thought patterns, the behaviours, the mannerisms are all still the same. I am still the same.

For many of us, from the time we are born, we are raised to celebrate New Years. In New Zealand for many of your youth and young adults that looks like getting too drunk too fast and eating a whole lot of crap food in an attempt to make ourselves feel better.

As we get older, our focus shifts from the 31st of December and how drunk we can get too the 1st of January and how productive we can be. But we still associate a specific feeling with a specific date.

If you have followed ZD for a while you will know that 2018 was a killer in terms of stress levels for me. I found myself pretty much from the week before christmas wishing 2018 to be over, because you know, it is times fault that things went wrong long last. Us spinning around the sun at that specific time s exactly what caused all of my problems, and now we are spinning around the sun in a new way it is all better… right?

I woke this morning with a weird feeling. I don’t feel extremely different, I don’t feel like I am walking in a daze or unaware of my surroundings. Rather, I woke with the knowledge that be it the 31st of December, or the 1st of January, my life is still mine. It is still up to me to make the most of every opportunity I have, it is my responsibility to follow my bliss, create my own happy place and write the story I want to be a part of.

So, it may be the 1st of January, but today is also another day in my story. It is up to me what that story says, what tone it has, what the focus point is. It is my story. It will still be my story tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after, and even the day after that. It will still be my story on the 1st of January 2020, 2021 and 2050.

My story is not dependent on dates, times or other methods of keeping track.

My story is dependent on me.

So here is to the 1st of January 2019, another portion of my story.



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