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Change …

Change. The word along can send shudders down a spine. For me, I never really liked the word. Change for me has always implied that something is wrong. It criticises the past, and makes a claim that it is no longer good enough. Therefore things must change. I prefer the word/s adapt for growth…

Okay, so I have replied one word with three but hey! My life, my way right? Adapting for growth allows one to realise their own need to continually grow, to shift, to bring forth new ideas and to discern those of the past. Adapting for growth, for me, implies that the person is in charge of their own reactions to any given situation. Acknowledging their strengths, developing their weaknesses…. growing… adapting… allowing the process of growth to shine.

I know it can be scary, and like most things, a lot of it boils down to a mindset shift. The world we live in today is constantly evolving. Constantly challenging the status quo and shifting expectations.

It can be downright exhausting attempting to keep up with every single shift that occurs throughout the day.

But what we can do, is acknowledge those which have an affect on the way we chose to live our life. We can allow it to take hold, to become our only focus and to push back. Or we can adapt. We can grow, and shift with it, allowing our own desires to mold the new norm, the way we want to.

So I thought today I would focus on my two key lessons for “surviving change” or rather “encouraging growth”.

  1. Allow the process to happen – all too often I met people who are fighting change. They push at every turn, completely disregard all positive possibilities, and end up burn out, and frankly pissed off. The reality is, when we are not the ones driving the shift, change sucks. But the truth is, in those moments we have to stop, and ask ourselves… why are we really upset? Are we upset because we disagree with the premise of the change, or are we upset because we cannot control the outcome. The thing is, you may not always be able to control the process, but you can control your reaction to it. Allow the process to happen, allow yourself to shift with it, working to ensure that your voice is heard in a productive way. Do I agree with every shift that occurs in my life? No, of course not. But in those moments, I attempt to step back. To see the bigger picture, and work out my place within that. If the shift effect people I care about, then I focus on supporting them to find their place within the “new norm”. It isn’t always easy, but when you find the cause for the hurt, you can treat the truth and not the lie.
  2. Allow yourself a moment to process – While I have gone on about going with the flow, it is also important to give yourself time and space to react. To process your emotions, your reactions and acknowledge that in that moment, they exist. No good can come from bottling up your reactions, regardless of if they are positive or negative. In moments where we are adapting, and growing, there are moments of “growing pains” as they say. Where we have to find our place, our own rhythm. Give yourself the space to do that.

Change, adapting, growth, evolving. Whatever you call it, through reflection, self-love and self-awareness you can come out the otherside. Stronger, aligned, and aware… It takes practice, and it is never perfect, but really, growth doesn’t come from perfection….

X

Jaime

Using Hope – Coaching Challenge

As we near the end of another year, I have mentioned a few times already, that we often get reflective. We set new goals for the coming year, we criticise our past journey, and we often, nitpick at the previous 12 months, taking on the negatives and ignoring the positives.

I wish I had done this.

I wish I had done that.

I should have tried harder.

I should have worked better.

I should have…

I am sure I am not the only one… Yet here I am, at the end of another year. Wondering in some respects, where did the past year go? The truth is, at least for me, it’s easier that way. I have never been great at accepting compliments, and while I can do it, I honestly prefer not to (what is that about right!).

Yet despite our own thoughts getting in the way, our dreams can help raise us up. So, this week I want you to use your hopes to create your dreams for the next twelve months… or is it the other way round lol?

Find someone to connect with this week, and talk about your hopes for the future. What do you dream about? What do you wish for?

I recently found a quote that said “a goal without a plan is a wish”, it’s easy to get lost in the structure of goals. Personally, I like to think of it like this…

A wish is dream that is still being crafted. A dream is a goal that is still being designed. A goal is plan to support your dreams. And it all starts with a little bit of hope.

 

X

Jaime

Remember to Breathe

We have all had moment, I’m sure! Moments where we have faced a highly stressful situation, where we have either physically or metaphorically held our breath until the moment has passed.

For me, I never even realised I was holding my breath until that moment where I exhale, and inhale again. Shocked, and slightly amazed I didn’t pass out…

Remembering to breathe is so important, especially in moments of stress or pressure. So why is it that we often find ourselves holding still? More importantly, how do we move past that moment?

As we near closer to the silly season, I wanted this blog to focus on ways to find the calm, or more accurately, ways to remind yourself to breathe. Regardless of what is happening around you.

Air, is not only important for physical life, but deep calming breathing can support a balance. A balance between soul, mind, and body, allowing all three to connect at one time, bringing clarity, and calm to your world.

The act of breathing, and especially what I call Active Breathing (when you focus your attention on that breath, on that moment of stillness, where nothing but your inhale and exhale are important), can provide solace from the chaos, it has the potential to ground, to heal, and to allow yourself to connect with a higher source, and yourself depending on your own preferences in that moment.

So here are my “Top 3 Tips” for Active Breathing.

  1. Find an app – I get it! How silly does that sound? But you would be surprised just how many different apps are out there to support your breathing. Not just general meditation apps, but apps dedicated to ensuring you focus your breath. I am incredibly lucky and my smart watch does it for me. I can set it to either go based on my heart rate, or at specific times throughout the day. It dings a little ding and guides me through a minute of active breathing. I can tell you, that the little ding and moment, even one minute long, is worth its weight in gold. That little reminder to stop, and focus on me for one minute really provides me the opportunity to step back, look at the bigger picture, realign and refocus, and then move on with my day. A little lighter than before.
  2. Create your own trigger – We can be triggered by so many different things in this world. What is quite evident however, is that these triggers are often for a less than desirable feeling. So it is time to take control and create your own trigger for calm, peace and breathing. We receive so many different signs throughout any one day, that it can be super easy to be overwhelmed by the range of messages and their sources. So create one for you, by you, based on what you need. Use a crystal, a symbol, a flower, a star, a whatever. When you decide what “it” is, make a commitment to yourself. When you notice it, throughout your day, wherever it may be, take a moment and take 5 deep breaths. Allow the world around you to remind you to connect with yourself.
  3. Set a routine – Often when we are overwhelmed, it is easy to forget about ourselves. We rush rush rush rush rush and then rush some more. We care for others, get lost in the shuffle of life. We dedicate time to other tasks, exercise, water intake, food intake, meditation, whatever it may be. Approach breathing in the same way. Allow yourself to guide you, and set a routine for one minute of active breathing each day, or multiple times per day depending on what works for you. It might be after every meal you take 5 deep breaths. When you get up in the morning. Before you get out of your car. Before you go to bed. Whatever works for you. Set an intention and allow it to guide you.

At the end of the day, this is about allowing you the space and time to be. To acknowledge that we cannot be superheroes all the time, that we need space, and time, and solace from the chaos of the world. That we need a break too.

This coming year is all about making oneself a priority – so why wait?

 

X

Jaime

Create Space to Heal – Coaching Challenge

Well, Monday’s post was a little heavier than normal. Heavier, but necessary as we head into the silly season.

It is so damn easy to get swept up in all the fuss of Christmas. To end up a puddle on the floor of stress between presents and shopping, and food and family and commitments.

For many, Christmas is one of the most stressful times of year imaginable. So today’s challenge is about allowing yourself space.

It’s something we often honour others with. We allow them time to process, to plan, to move forward. Yet, when it comes to self, we harass, belittle, demean and stress with little to no acknowledgement of the pressure we have placed on ourself.

So today I want you to do two things:

1) Write a list of all the things you are thankful for about yourself. It could be your humour, your generosity, your spunk, pep or attitude. Anything and everything you admire about yourself. Write it down, feel it, believe it.

2) Step 2 is to meditate with it. Chuck on some awesome music, or sit in silence, whatever works for you and feel the words you wrote. Feel the truth in the energy that radiates from them. Create a space for you to heal from the stimuli that bombards you daily. Create a space for you to just be.

Allow yourself a moment of peace. Release your perceived shortcomings, embrace your possibilities.

And see where you go…

X

Jaime

Authenticity – Why?

We are often told as children that we must always tell the truth. Be it a spiritual, religious, atheist, or something in between upbringing, it is common that “do not lie” is often repeated.

Truth be told I get it. 100% I get it. Deceit hurts. It hurts you, but it also hurts the person on the other end of it. Yet, in my view the lesson should be extended beyond lying, or rather telling the truth.

It should be extended to living and behaving authentically. Because when we don’t, the damage that can be created is just as bad as a white lie. I mean, to an extent what is authentic living? For me, if I had to “define” it, would simply say, that authentic living refers to the way one lives their life. They live their life in alignment, with all aspects of their being, mind, body and soul. They demonstrate attributes which they hold dear. They make decisions based on their true path. The live their life, their way.

Now obviously, we cannot live authentically all the time. I mean, I believe finding your authenticity takes experiences of being inauthentic. Like tasting new foods to find that you cannot stand them 😂😂😂. I do also believe that doing things to harm others, and stating “but that’s who I am”, is also a cop out. But I do believe that listening to your inner compass, and allowing your intuition and soul to have a voice in your journey in a meaningful way (consciously or not), is what being authentic is all about.

But what happens if your not?

What happens if you are “most of the time”, but sometimes it feels all too hard to say what you are really experiencing?

It hurts.

It hurts, just like lying does. It hurts the person who has to hear/experience it. It hurts them because they can often feel the shift, the change, the fact that something is slightly off. And it hurts to think that you cannot tell them the truth.

And it hurts you.

It hurts you, and those around you because it has the potential to create distrust. One sentence, one word, one look, one feeling can be a breeding ground for mistrust if you allow it too. I mean, if I am authentic, and living my life in alignment with my own path for my highest good… why would I want to do anything differently?

Truth is, we all have moments where life gets in the way. It gets to damn hard, and it is easier to just keep rolling with everything that is happening around us, than to stand up and say NO. I do not want this. I am choosing something else.

And sometimes its easier. And that’s okay.

It isn’t even about beating yourself up about a situation/conversation/look/word or feeling. It’s about acknowledging that everyone has moments, and everyone is allowed too. What matters is how you pick yourself up after it, how you allow yourself the space and time to realign. How you confront the decisions/conversations/situations that occurred, and how you move on.

Everyone has moments.

It’s how we dust ourselves off, communicate with those we love, and move the hell on that matters. Let the moment go. Do not try to hold onto it on principle.

Let it go and return to you. (Easier said than done I know!)

Let it go and just be.

Give yourself space to be.

Jaime

Dream Goals VS Reality Goals – Coaching Challenge

Goals. Those funny things, that everyone tells us over the course of our life that we must have. We must always be working towards something. Moving forward, aiming high. One goal, once achieved is followed by another.

But what does having goals really mean? See it’s a bit of a funny thing really. As a coach I believe in goals. I believe they can give us a focus. Not only that, but the right goal executed at the right time, allows us to manage our own expectations through the use of milestones or mini steps on our way to the end result.

Personally, I believe that many of us live our life setting two layers of goals.

Dream Goals – Are those we dream about, the big house, the overseas trip, or whatever it may be, but we never really believe it is attainable. So we dream about them, sending positive vibes out into the world that we want whatever it is. And then that’s it. There is no follow through on our end to ensure we actually step towards those goals. They always seem sadly, just out of reach.

In comparison, many of us are accustomed to “Reality Goals” – Goals which serve an immediate purpose and we can see the benefit of within a specific timeframe. These are the goals that we actually work towards, because we know they are achievable.

But, my argument is, that we can merge these two goals. We can bring our dreams and reality together, allowing us to work towards the daydream.

I believe, we can do this by using Reality Goals to achieve our Dream Goals. By working in alignment, and following through on our own promises to ourselves.

Ask yourself this, what is really between you and your dream? What is it that is actually stopping you from going on that trip, running that workshop, signing up for that course? Is it the daily demands of life, or something within? My money, or at least my experience, is on “something within”.

Dreams often mean change. Change, stereotypically means bad. But it isn’t always that way. Change can bring beauty, and wonder and opportunities. For myself, when I asked myself that same question, I realised in that moment, that what is standing between me and my dream was me. My own perception of how others perceived me. I mean how round about and back to front is that!

I was so consumed with what others thought of me, that I never really lived as me. Always as a shadow, or image of the person I thought they wanted.

Until I brought my dream and reality together. When I sat down one day and looked at the similarities between my skills, my situation, my now and what I wanted. In that moment, I aligned my dreams with my reality, and have been working towards my dream ever since. I tell ya, it was scary as all hell, but hugely and I am hugely empowering.

And that is all I wish for, for you as well. The empowering feeling of knowing that your now is contributing to your dreams. So your challenge this week is to write down all the things you want in your dreams, in terms of themes. For example, I want to help people. I want balance, and calm. I want freedom to speak my mind. I want a holistic approach to the world.

In another space, write down all the themes of your now. At the time of this exercise, I had some similarities, and some major differences. I was helping people, but it wasn’t a holistic approach. I never spoke up for myself, and I absolutely did not have balance and calm.

So that was where I started. I started working on balance and calm. Researching and finding different ways to bring it into my life. I focused on using a more holistic approach in my day to day work and home life. I started making minor changes to bring more similarities to the forefront.

Have a go at the exercise and see what you find. You may just surprise yourself at how close or far your reality and dreams are.

Jaime

Trusting Your Path

It can be a hard thing, to trust your journey. As I have learnt over the last few months, it isn’t about trusting the path or journey, as much as it is about trusting yourself.

We all have those moments of complete self doubt. When I was younger I did everything I was supposed to do. I studied and worked hard, went to university, completed my degree and got a good job. I worked up the ladder, demonstrated good work ethics, followed the rules.

In my personal life I was overwhelmingly happy. In my professional life I found myself on the corporate treadmill, moving too fast but maintaining momentum because falling scared me more than being unhappy. I filled the void with more stress and more work, assuming that I wasn’t happy because I wasn’t achieving.

Truth is, on paper I achieved well. I held management positions, and was even in a career where I could truly help others achieve. So why the disconnect? Because as much as I was following my path, supporting and guiding others, the system that I was in didn’t allow for my holistic approach to be utilised.

I was helping others, by giving so much of my physically and mentally, attempting to provide a holistic service I couldn’t really deliver on. The kicker… I never realised how much it was killing me until I finally gave in and changed my path.

Now – I am still in a management position, still helping people in a specific way. But I have the freedom to be me as well. That’s why I started Zoetic Dawn in the first place. A way to help others without being dictated by a management structure, having to worry about policies and procedures that I had no input into creating.

And here we are.

Truth is, facing up to the fact that something is missing is incredibly hard. Many of us have grown up in a culture we we tow the line and follow the rules. To do anything else is a failure. To turn our back on the system we have grown accustomed to is scary. Who will catch us if we fall? Who will guide us if we turn our back on the past? Who will ensure what we are doing is “right”?

Well my loves, the truth is, that you will.

Now is the time to remember the innate strength that stems from within. We all have it. That power, passion and drive to achieve our truest dreams. Some of us will want to have structure and support which is common today. Some of us will want to run free in the woods, roll in the grass and consume ourselves with nature. Some of us will dance the line in the middle. Where we have structure and freedom together.  No one journey is wrong. The commonality between us all should be that we live a life that makes our soul sing.

Making the decision to sing can be daunting. It is about trusting that you will have your own back (you do!), trusting that the path will show itself just as it should (it will), and that no matter what, you are living in alignment with your own needs.

Only you know if you are. Only you know deep down what path you want to take. I could give you tip after tip of listening to yourself, shining your own light to guide you, this that and the other thing. But truthfully, trusting the path is about trusting yourself.

Some days that will be incredibly easy. Other days it will seem like the hardest thing in the world. Much like life, everything flows, everything ebbs. Everything changes.

Yes, there are “signs”, there are “tips”, there are “methods” that support you on your journey. And Yes, I will share some of these as time goes. But the first step to anything is trusting yourself.

At the end of the day, you are still here. You are still looking to improve, to live, to love. In my book, that’s a win. So celebrate that win and acknowledge that you have had your back to date… you are aren’t going anywhere.

You have your back. It’s time to start trusting that.

Jaime